Teachings of the Ambiguously Obvious

Every once in a while I stumble upon an interesting piece of literature, something that just screams "Read me"! Oddly enough, this seems to have happened again and with a book from one of my classes. Celebration of Discipline is the book I've been reading for Religion 152 and I have to say, Foster had some help writing this thing. God's love and guidance is that apparent.

One of the major reasons I like this book is because Foster actually explains how to do things I've been told to do my entire life, yet have never had explained. This has always bugged me, I hate being told to do something and not being to how to do it.

As of right now I'm through chapter two, meditation. Very interesting as this is one of the most annoying subjects to discuss. In the past, I meditated quite a lot. As a martial artist, having a clear mind was very important. However it seems that christian meditation is different. While secular as well as eastern meditation focus on clearing the mind, christian meditation focuses on filling it. All meditation really is is constant conversation with God. Always in his presence, always listening. I love it.

Think Positive

I'm not sure why but apparently I can make almost anything appear negative. I don't know why I do this, I wish I did. Perhaps then I'd be able to counteract this way of thinking and wouldn't have to try as hard to think positively.

Music and Worship

I just got back from possibly the greatest concert ever! David Crowder is pretty awesome. It actually pretty funny that I was even there. Tickets were way over due by the time I heard about the concert. Thankfully my Youth Minister had one left and offered it when I told him I wanted to go.

Books and Batteries

"If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his son, purifies us from all sin" - 1 John 1:6-7

It's been awhile but I've decided to read from my Bible on an everyday basis from here on out. That's a serious commitment but I have to do it. For far too long I have gone without... some would refer to it as "recharging" their batteries. Well, I've been a dead 9-volt for years and I have to either charge or be thrown out. What use is a dead battery? Only paper weights and sling ammunition.

Anyway, today I sat down and read all of 1st John. A good friend of mine once said that it was his favorite book in the Bible. I guess that's why I started there. I have to say, it is a good book. Some of the wording is repetitive but I guess that's to get a point across. As a bit of an overview, I think that basically we must acknowledge Jesus as the son of God and love our neighbors as our selves. Jesus said this and now John reiterates it. I believe what they are saying is that we look after others in the way we often look after ourselves. Even if you are not overly fond of yourself most likely you will act in accordance of your own benefit.

Quite pleased

I just had a wonderful evening! Amazing really, it's been a while since I've had this much fun! Funny thing is I really set this outing up so my sister would once and finally reach out to other people. As it turns out though, I had as good a time as any one. I'm really looking forward to further outings.

Passing the time

I have nothing to do right now. I'm somewhat less than a productive member of society. I'm not all that ambitious, perhaps that's a problem? I don't know, it's not like I don't try. On many occasions I have tried to fill my days with work yet all things seem to fall through. It's not that there aren't enough jobs, no there are plenty of those. What I lack is experience in any trade. That seems to be an all to common trait in my generation. So much so that places that require no expertise at all are so loaded with workers that they do not wish to take on any more employees. Already pay in such places is spread pretty thin.

Actually, I can't say that I lack "any" expertise. I spent many years working as an instructor at my old martial arts school. I'm pretty good at working with children, not sure why that is... I'm hoping that the most recent place I have sought employment will accept my services. It would be wonderful to once again say that I am employed. Besides, as a student I lack any funds to speak of. Everything goes into my education. Which by the way, I haven't yet decided where that is going. I want to be a missionary but I also need some trade or profession. What I'd love to be is some sort of historian. I love history... perhaps I'll fair better in this subject than I did in Biology. As much as I love science, I'm not all that gifted in that particular field. I have the love, I just lack the understanding grasp that my fellow students possess. Unfortunate really, I was looking forward to a life as a scientist. Well, I guess all I can do is take hold of one of my more useful abilities. That is to pick myself back up and move on. I wonder sometimes if I'm not phased quite enough by the obstacles of life. Though I can carry on and it takes a whole lot of damage before I realise exactly how messed up I am, by then I'm pretty deep. I must strive to make sure that my academics do not suffer in this way.

Motivations and Spirituality

Yet again, I have nothing to talk about. Unfortunately should I go a long time without writing I'll never get into the habit of keeping a journal. Not a big deal but It's something I've been wanting to do and I'm tired of letting my own lack of motivation get in the way of something I'd like to do.

Speaking of which, what motivates people? Do most people possess a desire to achieve something more in life than to simply exist? I would think so, I don't but I assume most other people do. I feel that one of the greatest constraints placed upon me is my own contentment. I fail to push myself simply because I'm content in almost any situation. Comfort zones will kill the desire achieve great things... perhaps I need to shatter my comfort zone. I'd simply try and leave my comfort zone as so many people have suggested in the past. Many times over the years I have heard people talk about "leaving" their comfort zones. How does one achieve this? I can't use distance, I'm at home anywhere I go... come to think about it, I was more comfortable in the mountain of Costa Rica than I was at home. Maybe there is some thing I can do... like finally spread the word of my Lord.

Now there is an idea. A long time ago I knew I would be a missionary. I can remember that night, to some degree at least. Most everything else has blurred but I remember "knowing" I had to spread the word of Jesus. I wanted to be the one to travel the farthest corners of the earth. I wanted to stand on the mountaintops and scream his name. It was so clear then. Now a days... my screams falter. I want to go, my very being thirsts to leave here and go forth. Why am I still here then?

I think it's because I've failed to immerse myself in the word of my Lord. As I've said before, I'm a very analytical person. Everything reacts with everything else. Ripples of one action can affect things that at first glance would seem completely unrelated. So I've been thinking, what do I do or perhaps don't do that separates me from the will of my God? Well, I'm fully aware of my sins and how they affect my spiritual life. At least I've that much covered. Even still, I know I lack something that all other truly devoted followers of Jesus have. I've given my life to him, that's the first step... not the last, I've come to realise that as well. So what is it?

I believe what I lack is a personal quiet time. I pray, yes, but that is mostly on the run and only because God is clutching my heart. It's hard not to say something when he's grasping at your insides. What I need to do is spend time reading and meditating on the Bible. I've heard it over and over but I've never been able to practice for more than a couple of days. Why is it so easy to start bad habits and so hard to get rid of them and yet good habits are the total opposite? Another thing, I don't know how to study the Bible! Do I start with a book, read it through and then think on it? I know opening to a random page and reading is a stupid idea. Tried that when I was younger, didn't have very promising results. I need to get in touch with my youth minister and get a more detailed explanation. Once I'm consumed by the word of the Lord perhaps I'll finally start living the way he wants me to. That would be such a nice change in pace.

What am I doing?

Honestly, I don't know. I'm not even sure I have a reason for most of what I do. At least not until I've had a chance to sit back an analyze what ever it is I've done. Then I'm pretty good at making stuff up. Hind sight is 20/20 after all.

Well, perhaps I'll use this blog as a journal of sorts. A good friend of mine does something like that and claims its a great way to release built up stress. He's probably right, there are few things more relieving than spilling your cares and worries... even if they are only spilt into a book.

Okay, so let's start this off. Today is the first day of the new year! Woohoo! Haha, almost convinced myself that I was excited. You see, I don't care about the new year. A year is nothing more than a unit allowing us to comprehend the passage of time. Starting a new year simply means we change calenders, nothing more. That's how I see it. There is nothing magical about a numeric change in date.

Now then, since we are talking about the illusion of time, I'm curious... Is there a virtue that can be any more of a blessed curse than patience? A man who possess an abundance of patience can wait on a particular moment for time innumerable without losing his cool and trying to jump the gun. Sounds like a great thing right? Keeps you from making hasty decisions, that's for sure. Unfortunately, man is only granted a limited amount of time on this earth. If you wait for to long, opportunities come and go, chances pass you by and you'll die an unfulfilled man.

You know, no matter how much you come to understand in life, there will always be something more that you have missed. Basically, the more you know, more you realize you know nothing at all. Life is pretty twisted if you think about it.