Ever realize that in order to get what you want out of life, you need to give all you have to obtain whatever it is you want? Probably. Now for another question, ever realize that all you have may not be enough? "Ha", goes someone out there in the world. Yes I know the saying that there isn't anything one can't accomplish if he apply himself utterly... but I'm not sure I agree.
"The kingdom of Heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field." (Matthew 13:44 NIV)
This verse has been annoying me lately... and not for spiritual reasons. I guess it should, I mean Jesus is portraying how wonderful salvation is. Seriously, it's amazing. But like I said, my problem... well, the problem I'd like to discuss anyway, is not spiritual.
I was daydreaming the other day, a past time I do a lot less these days, and I was thinking about a dear friend of mine. This girl is one of my best friends... one of the few people in this world that has touched in a way that has forced me to change who I am, and done so by simply being my friend. I love this girl... and I realized a long time ago that I wanted her to be a huge part of my life.
This is where the parable comes in... I'd love to sacrifice all that I have for her. For me, she IS the greatest treasure in the world and I want her. I want from this day forward, that every morning I wake up, there she is. That every night, she is the last person I see and speak to. However, the problem is that I don't know if I actually have anything to give her. Quite frankly, I'm nothing more than a half decent guy who has taken a serious interest in her. So... how can I give my "all" and expect anything when my all is not all that much. Love and loyalty... she already has this from me... what else do I have?
Hm... I don't know if this is normal or creepy. I don't care so much anymore. I've spent too much time keeping her at a distance so I could keep her friendship regardless of where life took us... That was stupid and cowardly of me.
