Realizing That "All" is Actually a Variable.

Ever realize that in order to get what you want out of life, you need to give all you have to obtain whatever it is you want? Probably. Now for another question, ever realize that all you have may not be enough? "Ha", goes someone out there in the world. Yes I know the saying that there isn't anything one can't accomplish if he apply himself utterly... but I'm not sure I agree.

"The kingdom of Heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field." (Matthew 13:44 NIV)

This verse has been annoying me lately... and not for spiritual reasons. I guess it should, I mean Jesus is portraying how wonderful salvation is. Seriously, it's amazing. But like I said, my problem... well, the problem I'd like to discuss anyway, is not spiritual.

I was daydreaming the other day, a past time I do a lot less these days, and I was thinking about a dear friend of mine. This girl is one of my best friends... one of the few people in this world that has touched in a way that has forced me to change who I am, and done so by simply being my friend. I love this girl... and I realized a long time ago that I wanted her to be a huge part of my life.

This is where the parable comes in... I'd love to sacrifice all that I have for her. For me, she IS the greatest treasure in the world and I want her. I want from this day forward, that every morning I wake up, there she is. That every night, she is the last person I see and speak to. However, the problem is that I don't know if I actually have anything to give her. Quite frankly, I'm nothing more than a half decent guy who has taken a serious interest in her. So... how can I give my "all" and expect anything when my all is not all that much. Love and loyalty... she already has this from me... what else do I have?

Hm... I don't know if this is normal or creepy. I don't care so much anymore. I've spent too much time keeping her at a distance so I could keep her friendship regardless of where life took us... That was stupid and cowardly of me.

Teachings of the Ambiguously Obvious

Every once in a while I stumble upon an interesting piece of literature, something that just screams "Read me"! Oddly enough, this seems to have happened again and with a book from one of my classes. Celebration of Discipline is the book I've been reading for Religion 152 and I have to say, Foster had some help writing this thing. God's love and guidance is that apparent.

One of the major reasons I like this book is because Foster actually explains how to do things I've been told to do my entire life, yet have never had explained. This has always bugged me, I hate being told to do something and not being to how to do it.

As of right now I'm through chapter two, meditation. Very interesting as this is one of the most annoying subjects to discuss. In the past, I meditated quite a lot. As a martial artist, having a clear mind was very important. However it seems that christian meditation is different. While secular as well as eastern meditation focus on clearing the mind, christian meditation focuses on filling it. All meditation really is is constant conversation with God. Always in his presence, always listening. I love it.

Think Positive

I'm not sure why but apparently I can make almost anything appear negative. I don't know why I do this, I wish I did. Perhaps then I'd be able to counteract this way of thinking and wouldn't have to try as hard to think positively.

Music and Worship

I just got back from possibly the greatest concert ever! David Crowder is pretty awesome. It actually pretty funny that I was even there. Tickets were way over due by the time I heard about the concert. Thankfully my Youth Minister had one left and offered it when I told him I wanted to go.

Books and Batteries

"If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his son, purifies us from all sin" - 1 John 1:6-7

It's been awhile but I've decided to read from my Bible on an everyday basis from here on out. That's a serious commitment but I have to do it. For far too long I have gone without... some would refer to it as "recharging" their batteries. Well, I've been a dead 9-volt for years and I have to either charge or be thrown out. What use is a dead battery? Only paper weights and sling ammunition.

Anyway, today I sat down and read all of 1st John. A good friend of mine once said that it was his favorite book in the Bible. I guess that's why I started there. I have to say, it is a good book. Some of the wording is repetitive but I guess that's to get a point across. As a bit of an overview, I think that basically we must acknowledge Jesus as the son of God and love our neighbors as our selves. Jesus said this and now John reiterates it. I believe what they are saying is that we look after others in the way we often look after ourselves. Even if you are not overly fond of yourself most likely you will act in accordance of your own benefit.